rafaela

 i've never been much for settling down and giving in and pouting.
my mother taught me that life doesn't wait for anyone. you have
to grab it by the balls and bend it to your will. you don't ask for
what you want, you take it. if you're bored, you create your own
drama and live out your own fantasies. you can be whomever
the fuck you want to be. the possibilities are endless.

and thanks to my bloodline, so is my cash flow.

being rich, people expect you to be polite and proper.
they expect you to say please and thank you and to
donate to poor starving children in other "less fortunate"
countries. but i'm definitely the opposite of that. i was raised
on bad behavior and from the moment i came out of my mothers
filthy vagina screaming, i didn't say hello world. it was more like:

"Fuck you and the rest! where the hell is my fresh tit? Bitches be hungry."

my chubby little middle finger was raised high in the air and
they ate it all right up like they were cats and i the cream. even
when i was four years old i was bossing bitches around. i never
had that princess mentality. in my head i was always a queen.
i ruled the sandlot and in high school i ruled the hall ways with an
iron fist. stupid little girls tried to take my throne but i quickly shut
them down. i have no shame and i fight like a man. so very often,
nearly every other day in fact, bitches always walked away from me
in tears.

i don't cut anyone a break.
unless you're paulina.

i hate her. i hate her so fucking much that every time i see her
i just want to grab her by the neck, strangle her, slap her around,
and show her who the fuck is boss!
i guess that's why our sex is so mind numbingly good.
i get to do whatever i want to her whether we're alone
or adrians there watching, participating. and in exchange
for that, i let her hang all over her in public until i'm tired of
it.

i don't want her touching him.
i don't want her kissing him.
i don't want her fondling him,
smiling at him, being in the
same area as him and the
same goes for adrian with
her. i want them separately.
i always want them separately
but they insist upon sharing
and it kills me to say this.
my head hurts thinking about it.

but i love them. i love them both in
the weirdest fucking way possible
but i do. yeah, rafaela has a heart...

unfortunately.


"As long as there's alcohol,
I don't care who's party it is."

i stand because neither of them will move
until someone else takes the initiative and
i want to get wasted for free. my bottom lip
still stings from the night before and i almost
got myself another black eye. but where there's
free liquor, revenge quickly follows. amelie, the
stupid cunt who did this to my face, won't be far
behind.

and hours later, we show up on the beach.
paulina squeezed herself between me and
adrian so she can hold both of our hands
and it annoys the shit out of me but i let her
do it anyways. it was stupid of me to wear heels
to a beach but at leats i'll have something to
hit amelie with when i spot her ass... we stop
near a girl and my eyes narrow. she's scrawny
and young looking. pretty but probably dumb.
great, just fucking great.. adrian's new piece
of ass is barely legal and i'm not even attracted
to her. just great...

"Wow! What a great party...
Are you happy now? We came we saw
and it was shitty... can we leave? 'Cause
I'm over this already."

that earns me an elbow to the ribs from
paulina. i think i said it loud enough for
everyone to take me seriously. there
aren't even alot of people here. it's
pathetic. even if we are early i don't
give a fuck.

"We're gonna have a good time.
We just need a little music, some
more booze, and a few more people.
Right, Adrian?"

beaming... the little bitch is beaming
and being all cuter than thou for these
idiots and their preschool party. she's
lucky she actually is cute. or else i might
have gone off on her too. she's always
gotta save the fucking day... always.

i need a drink. and if i'm gonna enjoy
tonight, i need some strong rum, amelie's
face colliding with my fist, and paulina's
romper to ride up a little higher so i can
see more of that ass.

i sit on a vacant rock with my miumiu heels
in hand and wait for shit to happen. and if
anyone's gonna save this "party" it'll be
pauly. she's already throwing a bottle
of some random vodka my way and
taking a swig from another. she may
be annoying and stupid and tiring
but the girl knows how to party.