a moth to her flame

for as long as i can remember, i've had my hands held out in front of me. i knew i was waiting for something. anticipating the arrival or the impact of it. holding my breath at times when i felt close enough to feel the warmth of it against the tips of my fingers. but i hadn't known what it was until the day
i met vida.
our souls. electric. melding and mingling between us. calling to me from across the room. i'd stopped midsentence for her. eyes roaming over the writhing bodies in the club to find the cause of this strange feeling in my chest. i'd even stopped dancing. and that's when i saw her.
to say it was love at first sight would be a lie. it had been months since my last romantic encounter and even longer since i'd slept with a vampire but i craved it.
teeth penetrating skin. the feeling of being made completely vulnerable by another, having my life in their hands as we both approach our climax, finding the marks later on.
before i knew it, i'd crossed the club. moved her play thing aside and introduced myself. god i wanted her. i wanted her in the worst way and sitting beside her now, i still feel that need. the need to surrender my everything, to completely give myself to her but i can't just yet. my eyes meet hers and for a moment we share a knowing glance.
my smile mirrors hers but my eyes drop to my lap as my heart makes an uncomfortable lub dub.
there are still so many things left unsaid between us. arguments left unresolved, emotions unexplained, and layer after layer of secrets that separate us. i love her. god! do i love her. but...
georgie leaving catches my attention and vida quickly follows her. i'd almost forgotten why we were here.
tonight was the night.
my heart went out to georgianna but at the same time i envied her. she'd met her match in a quiet man with gentle bedroom eyes and strong, passionate hands. they were perfect for each other. the light to mine and vida's joint darkness. i loved watching them together. the intensity of them complimenting the intensity of us. we should be sharing engagement stories together. planning each other's weddings and bachelorette parties.complimenting each other on our dress choices and drooling over stationary for invitations. but my hands fingers lay barren and although i'm terribly happy for georgie, my heart still sinks for vida and i.
i haven't said much all night and perhaps this is why.
i look from monroe to where the girls have disappeared and back. usually i'd be chatting him up but i'm not really in the mood. i'm praying, as the girls approach, that the proposal will cheer me up. perhaps once i know that this man i've grown attached to will fully accept georgie, i think i'll relax and be able to joke around again.
the tension in the air is choking me and as georgie makes her move, i stand to meet vida halfway. they need their space for this and i'll seize this opportunity to cuddle with my angel. to pull her close without any prying eyes.
"come with me to look at stars for a bit, won't you? it's so beautiful tonight."
the moment we're alone i pull her close. with our height difference, even in heels i'm able to rest my head on her shoulders and lace my hands behind her waist.
she's so devastatingly beautiful. and i am like a moth to her flame.