here comes that feeling again...

you.
a sense of calm in complete chaos.
you make me feel my soul.
you set my heart ablaze.

i have searched for you.
at the bottom of empty bottles.
in the paint of my roof on sleepless nights.
in capsules filled with crystalized colors.

you've saved me.
with arms to help hold my shattered form together.
lips to kiss each wound left by past experience.
eyes to see and accept me in all lights.

i'm still caught off guard by the sight of you sometimes.
my lips tingle. my heart races. my fingers clench and unclench.
i freeze just to hide my excitement.
fight the urge to be already standing when you open the door.
try my best to hide goosebumps as you kiss the side of my neck, hello.

i knew i was going to love you the second i saw you again.
curly hair crazed. smile still infectious. lips i had yet to kiss.
your eyes were still as lovely as i remembered them.
a hasel to both lose and find myself swimming in.
staring into me with a sleepy kind of sadness.
and my heart had already been stepped on one too many times but i wanted you.
i wanted you to be mine. to fill the gaping hole in my chest.
to let me take care of you.
to have you take care of me.

in truth i was scared.
 i still am.

to lose you would mean the end of so many things.
you're the one risk i've ever taken.
and my heart has grown because of it.
i love you doesn't even begin to describe what i feel for you.
but until i find the right words it will have to do.