truth.

i bit a hole in my lip before i fell asleep last night.
i knew that nothing was resolved.
we just silently agreed to pretend together.
i was genuinely happy then.
but he doesn't get it.
he still gets mad.
hes a bad liar.
sure, its my choice to share what i want to
and withhold whatever i feel needs to be with held.
but that doesn't stop me from feeling like shit.
the tone in his voice says i'm right about one thing.
he hurts morethan he smiles.
its all my fault.
again.




truth be told, i've never been this emotional in my life.
i lied.
i have.
but that was way back when male figures were in close quarters.
when moms were so silent mice could be heard scurrying about in the walls.

i haven't changed one bit.
i've only grown worse at hiding.
and vulnerability sucks.


but atleast i wasn't lying when i said i was in love.
how do i know?
honestly?

it hurts like hell.